Opposites Attract

One of my favorite rhetorical devices is the oxymoron.  There's something magical yet intimidating about placing two words side by side that mean the exact opposite.  That said, here are a few of my favorites.  Try to incorporate them in a conversation.  It'll make your listener think twice.

Seriously joking
Dressy casual
Regular diabetic diet
Fairly accurate
Pretty ugly
Long-sleeve T-shirt
Oven fried
All day happy hour
Single pair
Uninvited guest
White chocolate

Alma Mater

I have need to take an issue to task -- those metal frames that drivers display around their license plates.  You know to what I refer.  They most often sport the college said person has attended.  Let's clarify the word that generally appears at the bottom (and sometimes the top) of this rectangle. 

Alumnus is the traditional singular spelling.  The word refers to a graduate of a particular college.  At one time way back in the day, it referred to a male graduate.  Females need not apply.  

Alumni is the plural spelling.  This means more than one graduate, and grammar dictates that this can refer to both male and female.  Women's Equality rocks! (To note, alumna (singular) and alumnae (plural) refer to the ladies).

Well, what does all of this mean?  When you see those frames, they have the word alumni.  The only way this declaration works is if more than one person in that vehicle is a graduate of said college.  I would say that most oftentimes this is not the case.  The plate is a reflection of the driver's accomplishment.

I'll emphatically state that I always will support and display my alma mater whenever possible.  Go tigers!  For all future grads, remember this error and try to find a more grammatically correct way to support your school. 

Modify This!

During my day-to-day travels all around the distinctive city affectionately known as Bmore, I'm always on the hunt for road literature.  I am able to assure you that I find a plethora.  The line I found  just yesterday was too good not to share, especially given the timing (my summer grammar class is learning the pitfalls of unreasonable modifiers). 

On a subtle, dull yellow placard prominently positioned in front of a much-frequented gas station was this: 

I will stop smoking with hypnosis. 

Wow.  Talk about your bad influence!

Revamp

Having spent too many hours yesterday in the intense yellow-orange sunshine, this has left my fair Irish (half) complexion a bit on the crimson side.  While marveling at the billowy white clouds and enjoying this most perfect day, whimsy ensued causing me to wish for a new blog background.  So, I changed it.  The other was beginning to seem rather drab to me, especially on these scenic summer days.  I'm still tinkering with it; however, so far I am keen on this change.  It befits me.

In case you’re curious (and you should be), the word whimsy dates to the 1600s.  As a noun, it means a fanciful  concept, especially in writing.  Not such a common word by today's standards, but you can find it in The Scarlet Letter.  Hmm.  I see a recurring theme with colors today!

Lament

To those pinstripe fans, don't gloat just yet.  Try to show some compassion.  It is not quite mid-season.  Will the orange and black ever prevail?

Spring ushers in hope.

Another season flies by

Minus a pennant.

Mindless Misuage of Language

Here is another collection of inane phrasology.  These involve idioms one should try to avoid when writing. 

I detest when someone jumps out at me in an effort to scare me.  Yes, most of the time it is a successful feat as I scare easily, and I never know whether to giggle, weep, or yell. I do have a hearty laugh about it, though.  The words spoken by individuals when this occurs:  You scared me half to death!  Well, if one is scared half to death, does that mean the second time this happens, you’re scared whole and you pass on?!

It would be pleasing to sleep during the nighttime without interruption; however, this never seems to happen.  What awakens me is a writing inspiration that I need to jot down.  If not, then I will, without doubt, forget.  The expression many use you ask when a person does slumber in perfect harmony?  I slept like a baby.  What?!  Why is this the go-to?  A baby wakes up every 2 hours. 

Have you ever been so distraught over something that you utter the words lost my head?  I highly doubt this happened.  If so, you’d rival Ichabod Crane. 

Why do I hear the phrase drew a blank when one is trying to answer a question but can’t?  Draw can be either a transitive or intransitive verb and has many meanings, the most common of which would more than likely have something to do with art.  That said, how does one depict blankness? 

The Ludicrousness of Linguistics (part 1)

It’s quite well known that I am referred to as a bit of a word nerd.  Yes, I do devote myself to all things related to language.  Yes, I've made peace with that moniker.  On an everyday basis I try to comprehend how it is that certain phrases, words, et al. become ingrained in our culture.  That said, this is the first in a series (understand this may be a considerably vast amount of posts) of questions for you to ponder.  I know I do. 

First up, and I’m certain you’ve heard this one.  Why is that we drive on something called a parkway, but we park in a driveway?  Does this make sense?  Not in the least.  

I posed my lack of understanding for this cliche to many of you during the spring semester.  How did the verb phrase boils down to come into existence?  The word boil is a verb and when something boils, such as water, don’t the bubbles rise as does the temperature? 

Do retail establishments really believe you’ll stop in and buy something if you‘re given a free gift?  Isn’t this a bit redundant?!  A gift is always free.  

Here’s a word I use often during the course of a semester – discombobulated.    Discombobulate is a transitive verb that means to confuse.  Dis is typically used as a prefix and, while it has various uses, one meaning it has is as the opposite of something.  So, if I’m not confused in any way, does this mean I’m combobulated?!

Leaves a Sour Taste

While listening to one of those 24-hour, late-breaking, cable news channels this morning, I heard the newscaster convey the story of a young woman on trial for murder.  As I was not fully vested in the story, I listened with one ear, but this proved enough to detect a slight faux pas.   He noted that the perpetrator of this alleged crime had a “dour expression” on her face as she was being led into the courtroom.  This was not an incorrect word choice here as this fits.  It was his elocution.    

The word dour can function as an adjective, adverb, or noun.  The first use dates to the 14^th century and became widespread in 16^th and 17^th century New England oftentimes describing the Puritan advocates.   An exultant bunch?  I would presume not.  Life must have been demanding then for such a dismal word often used to describe them. 

In the above-noted phrase, dour is functioning as an adjective meaning gloomy, grim, or stern.  True, one certainly could display this when on trial.  However, in the traditional sense, the word when pronounced does not rhyme with sour.  We are not talking lemons here.  Rather, the pronunciation is closer in rhyme with the word tour. 

If you’re going to use a word this archaic, take it old school and express it in original form.  Your listener may cheer you for it.