No Tricks; Only Treats

Halloween has arrived.   Since those reading my posts are much too far away to give candy to, I’d like to share a few of my favorite stories and movies that befit this self-proclaimed ‘American holiday.’  As you wait for wicked witches, fanciful fairy princesses,  ghastly ghouls, and truculent trolls to land on your stoop and utter that famous phrase, either peruse these stories or observe these movies.  It will most assuredly help you stay in the spirit of the season.

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“The Lottery” by Shirley Jackson (makes me never want to participate in any form of gambling)

The Turn of the Screw by Henry James (a haunted house and children?  That’s telling enough.)

“The Eyes” by Edith Wharton (not the typical description of a ghost, for sure)

“The Withered Arm” by Thomas Hardy (a jilted lover usually leads to a deluge of catastrophe)

“The Tell-Tale Heart” (anything from Poe is worthy of a read, but this one is my favorite)

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The Shining (Jack Nicholson at his most memorable)

Fallen (To this day I shiver when people ‘accidentally’ bump into me)

The Sixth Sense (I had to watch this a second time to figure out how I didn’t figure it out the first time)

Jennifer 8 (what the film industry calls a sleeper)

Night of the Living Dead (A classic B&W film made in 1968 that frightens me each time I watch it)

My Homage to Teddy G.

This blog post is dedicated to my students who were quite convinced that I was “going to go all Dr. Seuss” on them during class the other day.  Thanks for giving me the inspiration to create this one.

The world of writing is full of one too many a cliché.

I do not know how it became this way. 

If you cannot think of anything new and fresh to say,

Perhaps you should start over and throw your first idea away.

I made part of that rhyme in class, but I did not know it.

My students told me I should try to become a poet.

Not really…but I found it difficult not to show it.

I hope that I did not blow it.

As I always will say, keep your writing from sounding trite.

If you do not, your readers will be left with such a fright. 

Since you should strive to convey writing that is forthright,

Take a shot and give your readers a true delight. 

Man Down; Woman Up

I've been conducting beaucoup research of late as it seems that some of my male student population believe that women are the so-called weaker sex.  Hmm.  I found this rather absurd quote:


"These women just need a man in the house.  That's all they need.  Most of the feminists need a man to tell them what time of day it is and to lead them home."


Really?  Not only are many of the women I know able to read the numbers on their own watch, they also know how to get around town.  If not, I'm sure there's an 'app' for that.

The Battle for Handedness

The gloves are on and an epic war plays out.  I've come to the conclusion that the world favors righties -- right-handed people, that is.  While I've been a rightie all of my life, I've watched lefties struggle for many moons trying to adapt to a 'right' environment.  That said, here's how the battle plays out. 


Scissors – No secret here.  Mass produced during my generation (I have a pair from the 1970s), these scissor handles are molded to fit a right-hander.  Sure, a left-hander could put fingers and thumb in the holes, but you try it.  Scissors held in this direction do not have the ability to cut even the most delicate scrap of paper; they only bend it. 

Spiral notebooks – The coils are conveniently placed on the left side of a book so that the rightie writer never touches them while putting pen to paper.  Lefties spend their time fending off curly-Q impressions and ink stains on the wrist. 

Mail boxes --  Yes, I am well aware that many of you have little to no use for those tiny dome-shaped flat-bottomed houses that hold snail mail; however, for those who do, ever stop to think what side the flag is on?  Yes, that’s correct.  It’s on the right side, which means lefties have to reach across their bodies to raise it.

Shopping carts – Going to market was never easier for a rightie.  Front of the cart?  Sure, you have to be in this position to push it through the aisles.  Inevitably, you have to roll up to the check-out line and that’s where the problem ensues.  For the leftie, the logical way to take items should be from the front of the cart – a nearly impossible feat since one might have handle impressions across the abdominals, and the smallest of items could be left behind in the very corner of the cart.  The ease of taking everything from said cart comes at the other end where righties position themselves and use the predominant hand to swiftly place the items on the moving belt. 

All is not lost...

QWERTY – Here is where lefties hold sway.  Did you ever notice that the most popular keys are on the left side of the keyboard?  Your left thumb gets much more exercise than your right when you text.  Makes you wonder if C.L. Sholes was a leftie.  I think not, though.  It’s merely a matter of logistics. 

Although not a TKO, righties rule.

Glimpser

Yes, I've been at it again with my habit of perusing the posterior parts of moving (and parked) vehicles for their artwork.  Here is the latest collection.


Run like a girl (not sure what this means, but I hope it doesn't set us back one hundred years.)

89.7 WTMD (yes, this is a plug for our very own TU music station).

I haven't been the same since that house fell on my sister (I so love The Wizard of Oz.)

I brake for frogs (I suppose someday her prince will come.)

To write is to live (a personal favorite.)