The Battle for Handedness

The gloves are on and an epic war plays out.  I've come to the conclusion that the world favors righties -- right-handed people, that is.  While I've been a rightie all of my life, I've watched lefties struggle for many moons trying to adapt to a 'right' environment.  That said, here's how the battle plays out. 


Scissors – No secret here.  Mass produced during my generation (I have a pair from the 1970s), these scissor handles are molded to fit a right-hander.  Sure, a left-hander could put fingers and thumb in the holes, but you try it.  Scissors held in this direction do not have the ability to cut even the most delicate scrap of paper; they only bend it. 

Spiral notebooks – The coils are conveniently placed on the left side of a book so that the rightie writer never touches them while putting pen to paper.  Lefties spend their time fending off curly-Q impressions and ink stains on the wrist. 

Mail boxes --  Yes, I am well aware that many of you have little to no use for those tiny dome-shaped flat-bottomed houses that hold snail mail; however, for those who do, ever stop to think what side the flag is on?  Yes, that’s correct.  It’s on the right side, which means lefties have to reach across their bodies to raise it.

Shopping carts – Going to market was never easier for a rightie.  Front of the cart?  Sure, you have to be in this position to push it through the aisles.  Inevitably, you have to roll up to the check-out line and that’s where the problem ensues.  For the leftie, the logical way to take items should be from the front of the cart – a nearly impossible feat since one might have handle impressions across the abdominals, and the smallest of items could be left behind in the very corner of the cart.  The ease of taking everything from said cart comes at the other end where righties position themselves and use the predominant hand to swiftly place the items on the moving belt. 

All is not lost...

QWERTY – Here is where lefties hold sway.  Did you ever notice that the most popular keys are on the left side of the keyboard?  Your left thumb gets much more exercise than your right when you text.  Makes you wonder if C.L. Sholes was a leftie.  I think not, though.  It’s merely a matter of logistics. 

Although not a TKO, righties rule.