My Royal Court

30 March 2011


While talking to my colleague and good friend, I felt something hit my hair, drop down onto the rim of the glasses and then disappear from sight.  Now the fact that anything was near my hair was distressing enough, but when I looked on the floor in front, to the side, and back of me, and didn’t see anything other than the faded-tile floor, the situation I found myself in became more alarming.  I shook my head, picked at my hair, and even had my colleague take a look-see for me, all to no avail. Whatever it was that entered my peripheral vision was no longer trying to hitch a ride with me through the hallowed halls of Linthicum. 
Something told me to continue looking, and when I raised the stack of papers I had in my arms, lo and behold, there it was – a gray stink bug clinging to my sweater.  Oh the drama that ensued.  I shouted and flicked the offending creature to the floor with a swift motion.  It landed belly up, legs flailing, spinning helplessly around in tiny half-circles in an out of control motion.  I’m certain this bug must have known what was coming next.  Surely this is why it was desperately trying to right itself.  I raised my right leg about 6 inches and came down hard, and then just for good measure, I dragged my foot across the floor for a bit.  I had to make certain this sucker was down for good. 
It was.  A squished speck of bug guts and broken legs was all that remained.  Not wanting to leave it there, I decided to give it a proper burial.   From a black desktop tape holder, I ripped a long piece of Scotch tape and pressed this onto its now mutilated body cavity.  I then proceeded to close the tape around the nasty mass and with not a smidgen of guilt, threw it in the trash can. 
This rather illustrious stink bug made a mistake trying to invade my space.  It had a lot of nerve; I’ll grant credit for that.  But in the end, that nerve was wasted on this savvy quick thinker with a fast foot. 


  1. Your so cruel!!! You killed that poor little bug. I hate bugs so I totally understand :)

  2. That stinkbug surely had it coming!

  3. Very amusing post!! I can totally relate, however I would probably not have killed the poor creature.


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